I’m a deadbeat reader. At least, to my own mind. Since I was young, I’ve constantly had a book in my hand. My dad does a wickedly accurate impression of a 13-year-old me, mechanically eating a bowl of cereal without looking away from my Babysitters Club books.

But in recent years, as I’ve gotten busier with work and life, that background book has taken a backseat to my smartphone, a sleeker constant companion. I still read and can think of few things that I love more than sitting down with a good book, but social media and work and grownup life have meant that I read fewer books than I used to.

Yesterday, I picked up my new book on hold at the library, Fierce Kingdom by Gin Phillips. I’ve never read Gin Phillips but have been interested in checking it out since the title popped up as an option in the Book of the Month Club. With a few hours before my friend’s birthday dinner, I curled up in the hammock outside to start the book.

The story is fascinating: Joan and her 4-year-old son are visiting the zoo when shooters take over, leading to a three-hour struggle to keep her son quiet and them both alive in the face of a terrifying and too-real scenario.

Fast-forward two hours and 250 pages and I am frantically glancing between the clock and the book, determined to finish and debating whether to straighten my hair or finish the book. Surely my friend won’t care if I don’t wear pants to her birthday dinner? Who needs lipstick? (Uhhh, me – I feel kind of lost without it.)

Luckily, I was able to finish reading (and put pants on), but I haven’t stopped thinking about the book nearly 24 hours later. The story has stuck with me, pricking at my brain throughout the day and leading me to look up other reviews to see if others found the ending as ambiguous as I did.

I can’t actually say I loved the book: Joan made a number of choices I didn’t find believable, and I found some of the villains’ motivation difficult to follow. But I cared deeply about the characters and think Gin Phillips is a talented writer with a knack for creating personalities that stick with you and feel authentic. It’s been a long time since I picked up a book that demanded I not put it down before the finish. Even if the book doesn’t make my top 50 list, I’m grateful that I listened.

That’s what I love about reading (and writing): The ability to disappear completely into a moment you didn’t expect, to find yourself sprinting toward a finish line when you expected only to go on a light jog.