Mechanic is traveling more than I’d like the rest of 2017. I’m not meant to fly solo in my house. I’m a capital E, increase-the-font-all-the-way-up-to-36 Extrovert who gets easily sick of the sound of my own voice and craves company nonstop. Mechanic knows I’d happily sign a reality-TV contract if I meant I get to live in a commune with him and all my besties all the time. Seriously, how fun would that be? (Yep, I’ve got some introversion issues that I’m working on. Er, trying to work on. Trying to try to work on? There.)

As I contemplated our upcoming ships-in-the-night schedule, I decided to sit down and make a list that I thought might be comforting. It’s a list of people I could comfortably call at 2 a.m. if I needed help, people who are close to my heart and who I know would be there for me in the same way I would be there for them. I didn’t think about it, just wrote names as they came to me.

I got 36 names deep before I had to start thinking about the next name I would write down. There are other names I could put, but I was floored as I looked at the paper and realized there were three dozen names that immediately sprang to mind. Sometimes I get stressed and overthink my life and all the little pieces that make it whole, but knowing that I have so many people who I consider a lifeline makes me feel incredibly grateful.

If you’re having a down day and reaching for comfort, I’d encourage you to pen your own 2 a.m. list.